Having a positive attitude towards life is the best way to enjoy your life and meditation is a great way to develop that outlook. We have the choice about whether or not to let a certain event affect us in a negative way or a positive. We are the only one who can determine this.Your mind is a blank canvas when you?re born, and straightaway you begin to absorb messages from the world around you. The cultural values from your parents, TV, peers, are all accepted, usually without analysis. All of these influences combine to make up the internal personality that makes you different from anyone else.Rainy days may upset you, because of a childhood experience when you fell in a puddle. This is probably not at a conscious level, but you still end up being in a bad mood every time it rains. On the other hand maybe you fell head over heels in love in the pouring rain of a monsoon. And had an incredible affair. Then you?re most likely going to have a different perspective on rain aren?t you?Most messages will penetrate to the subconscious level if they?re repeated enough and we often find ourselves saying something simply because we heard it, not that we even agree but it?s hovering in our mind, waiting for a chance to express itself. This can be good thing if it?s a positive message, but all too often it?s a negative attitude that we express. This saps our own energy and that of everyone we come into contact with. That which you sow, you shall reap ? especially within your own mind!By having a positive attitude you’ll experience fewer negative events in your life. So as time goes on, there are more helpful and uplifting experiences and fewer negative ones, al because you changed the way that you look at the world. So what is the best way to start this process?You can select what information and influences you have in your life. What books do you read? Do you religiously watch the news every night to support your view the world is going down the drain? Why not watch an uplifting movie that fills you with joy instead? How about a book or magazine that focused on the positive aspects of life? This isn?t to say that you want to sick your head in the sand, but it?s about choosing where you want to spend most of your time, in a world where wars are rife and we?re powerless to do anything to help, or where there?s a beautiful flower at every corner and a smile on the lips of people you pass on the street. It?s up to you.But this is only a part of the story, you want to find out what is inside you, find your unconscious triggers and make them conscious and then you can make a choice about whether or not they serve you. If not, let them go and replace them with something that helps you to live your life with joy. Meditation in whatever specific form it takes will unlock hidden parts of your personality and help you to get in touch with the true source of joy in your life.Meditation has been described as a stilling of the mind, or focusing on one thing, letting all other thoughts subside from your awareness. We all have more thoughts than we need, every day we tend to cover the same ground in our minds, over and over. This is how we can blink and wonder where that last year went because we are too caught up in the incessant, often negative internal dialogue. As you become aware of your thoughts and each moment, you begin to truly live your life as it was meant to be livedThrough meditation, we can tame this beast of negativity and replace the self doubt and judgment with acceptance of ourselves and all those around us. Problems seem to shrink, aggravating people in our lives either leave or seem to change and thus it becomes easier still to stay positive, as there is less negativity in our everyday lives. How we view and experience life, truly is up to us. Nobody else has control over how we react, only we have that power. If you take control of that power, you can control your life, take everything with a smile whatever happens.Meditation has helped to cultivate a positive attitude for thousands of people across the world. Simply by detaching a bit from the day to day bustle of the world around us gives clarity and insight into life. There’s not really any such thing as a negative experience only the negative perception of events.

If you want a great tool to develop a positive attitude, then you can’t go past meditation. You can get all the benefits of deep meditation at the click of button thanks to modern recording technology. For all the details, click here http://www.howtomeditate.biz

Every one is unique, yet everyone is innately the same. What is the same is the software inside us, but the ’script’, the contents are different. Just like the computer, our body is more or less standard. The computer needs an operating system, we, as human-being too have an operating system that is the same for everyone, like windows operating system, the system is a ’seeking’ system, then other programs are loaded into it for it to SEEK for. These are the programs that make us unique!

We all have different programs running inside us under the operating system calls it ‘Seek Operating System’ (“SOS”). We are seeking for the ‘answers’ of each of the programs running inside our computer. This SOS is the same, we are all the same, the programs installed under the SOS are the one that make us unique.

We are all ‘Driven’ because of the SOS!

We are driven to ‘find a meaning to our existence’. We may not realize it, but it operates within us, unconsciously, everything that we do, we are actually ‘driven’ to ’seek’ out the answers to the programs!

Look around you, look at what people do.

Many do, but unaware of what they are doing, unconscious of why they do things, these are the human-beings were are said to be ‘asleep’, sleep walker you can call these group of people, they are the humans, the lost and even to an extend the seeker.

Then there are those who are about to ‘awakening’, these are MT, or rather the Confused group, that enters into the darkness TOWARDS the light. They are confused because they have never really seen the light, they live in darkness, because of this, they are confused when they see the light. Like the moths that are attracted to the light, they hit the glass wall and continue to run into it…. The confused “Major Transits”…

The driven exist only in the Expressionists (the humans, lost, seeker), they find meaning to life, many driven find meaning in their work! They avoid finding who they are, but they plunge themselves into work so that they are distracted from having to find their purpose, because to these group, it is a waste of time looking for purpose, their answer is, ‘the purpose is to make money and live life the way you want to live’… of cause, until health weakened, then they turn towards medicine for cure, if it worked, they will be hooked on it for their survival….then even the medicine fails them, because life is evolving, they will end up in hospital to reflect.

The driven finds meaning to life in their work, they get really, really good at it.

They are the specialist, workaholics, that only finds joy in work, when they are at home, they find reasons to go to work, because life is work. Work is Life! It is what they do, the meaning of life is work!

Driven are very distracted from life!

Driven will find that they will end their life in work.

Are you driven that will end in sickness and end in death?

Be alive, find your purpose, find those ‘programs’ running under SOS today!

About the Author:

Stephen is an internationally certified Trainer of Master NLP, Trainer of Master Time Line Therapy, Trainer of Master Hypnotherapy accredited with ABNLP, TLTA, ABH. Stephen is the Regional Director for Seraphim Blueprint for training of teachers and students for all 6 levels. Stephen is also the creator of Oracodes Evolution Codes Program. More details http://www.oracodes.com

How many people do you know who, in January, enthusiastically name their resolution for the year yet somehow neglect to follow through with it a few weeks or months later? Forget making New Year’s resolutions. They rarely work because they are often based on “shoulds” versus the bigger picture of your life. What I’ve found does work is creating a life theme for the year ahead.

Your life theme will be your overriding intention or “big picture” focus for the upcoming months. It has an expiration date of December 31, when you’ll get a chance to re-evaluate your direction. Having a life theme is like having a personal mission statement for your whole life, personal and professional, updated annually. A life theme works because it takes into consideration and connects all your intentions for the year in a succinct and powerful phrase. This collection of one to five words describes what you want to accomplish in all areas of your life and cements your main priorities with intended action.

Discover Your Intentions

Perhaps as you’ve explored who you are and what you want to create for your life, you’ve noticed that “Wellbeing” or “Wellness” has come up for you over and over. Or perhaps you’ve noticed more of a “Relationship” theme. Or maybe the word “Passion” has tugged at your heart repeatedly, or you’ve focused on “Patience.” These are all great themes for the upcoming year. Through your own personal discovery, you may recognize that you haven’t made time in your life for many friends, that your networks are weak and that you’d like to have a social circle beyond your immediate family. Your life theme in this case could be “Connection.” It may be you’ve realized that your life is far more filled with work and errands than with fun and play, and you want to fix that imbalance. Your life theme then could be “Energize.”

Feel the Magic

Base your theme on what you find joyful and what you want to accomplish both personally and professionally. Your theme needs to strike an emotional chord with you and bring a smile to your face when your say it. You must own it. You must feel your theme’s magic. It must propel you forward.

Now take a few moments to reflect on the bigger picture vision you have for your life. What would you like to accomplish first? What will bring you joy and fulfillment with your work, your family, and your personal time? What is the essence of what you wish to experience in this upcoming year? When you have an idea of what it is you wish to create and who you want to “be,” take some time to meditate or concentrate on developing your life theme. The right phrase for you may come to you immediately, or it may take some time to evolve.

Brief is Best

When the phrase does reveal itself to you, try to keep it to a maximum of five words. Brief is better. Feel the power of these concise life themes: “Let go. Rebuild. Move Forward. Growth and Independence. Balance and Follow-through. Connection. Stretch. Calm and Quiet.” You might have to live with your life theme for a week before you know that it’s the one that will speak to you for the next year. You will know when you’ve got it.

Get Started

Once your life theme is clear, write it down. Put it where you will see it every day as a reminder of where you are heading in 2005. Tell loved ones, friends and colleagues what your life theme is. The more often you say it and share the more real it will become. Every time you make a decision large and small put it through your life theme filter. If your theme is “connection” say yes to building friendships, social invitations and neighborhood parties. If your theme is “adventure and fun” perhaps you say no that new pair of shoes and yes to signing up for a rock climbing course. The most surefire method to ensuring you live your life theme is to ask yourself every morning when you wake “what can I do today to experience my life theme.” The key to success is to be intentional with your thoughts and actions on a daily basis. By living intentionally and with purpose you’ll never feel the need to make another New Year’s resolution again.

Yesterday I was but a child, looking. Looking ahead at a world of wonder. Everything was always ahead of me. All my dreams. All of my hopes. All my ambitions.
Through childhood then adolescence tomorrow always had the answers.
It seemed that tomorrow would never get here.
Always looking to tomorrow for life to begin. Never really living today as if it was anything to enjoy. Again, always looking to tomorrow for life to begin.
Through my teen years and into young adult all of a sudden it seemed that all I ever looked forward to was here, but, what do I do with it now that it’s here?
Now that I’m here where are my dreams and hopes I had yesterday?
Today I am now an adult, looking. Looking back at a world of wonder. Everything is always behind me now. All my dreams. All my hopes. All my ambitions.
Through young adult then middle age, yesterday always had the answers.
It seemed that life had already passed me by.
Always looking to yesterday when life should have begun. Never really living today as if it was anything to enjoy. Again, always looking to yesterday when life should have begun.
Through my young adult years and into middle age all of a sudden it seemed that all I ever looked forward to was back there, but, what do I do with it now that it’s back there?
Now that I’m here where do I go from here?
=================================================================
It’s sad when youth can’t wait to get grown and then, when grown, wishes to be youth again.
Life never stops for anyone to decide where or what they want to be.
Life is meant to be lived in the now whether young or old.
Dream of tomorrow but live for today!
Remember yesterday but live for today!
When you don’t then you lose it all.
Yesterday is a memory & Tomorrow is but a dream, So live for today.
Remember yesterday for what it was, Plan for tomorrow & Live for today. It’s all you have.
Don’t ever assume that life is waiting on you. When you do by the time you look up you find that it has passed you by.
People get old eventually we all die.
We all have our allotted time on earth then it’s time to move on to the next world whatever it is you have prepared for.
Parents brothers & sisters all eventually go the way of all mankind. Have you taken the opportunity to get to know them or allowed them the opportunity to know you?
Life is fleeting at best what have you spent all of your time doing. Was it worth it after all is said & done. Did you give those around you your best.
What is the most important thing that you have done in the lives of those around you?
If you died tomorrow did you make sure that your child knew that you love them?
How about your spouse? How about your parents or your brothers &/or sisters?
Is their anyone that would wonder, if something happened to you, because you never made sure they knew your feelings. Never made sure they knew you.
Is their something that you left undone?
Don’t live life as if you are untouchable. People need to know. Enrich their lives and allow them to enrich yours.
In my mind do you know when my daughter was just born? Yesterday. The time passes so fast that it will pass you by if you let it because today my daughter is 22 years old and preparing to get married in October of 2005.
I wouldn’t take for a single day of that 22 years with her but I do wish that I had savored it a lot more than I did.
I made mistakes and some of them might have been perty bad but some things I do have that NOBODY can take away from me are memories, her love and our relationship. She will never have to question if I love her nor I her. She learned from me how to love others because I 1st loved her.
Relationships don’t happen, they are made.
Just because people are kin to you does not mean that you automatically have a relationship with them. You have got to build them and you build them one day at a time by being with them to enrich their lives with your presence and allow them to enrich your life, one day at a time.
Yesterday is gone, forget it. Start today to live your life. Dream of tomorrow but live for today!
Don’t wait for tomorrow to start living because tomorrow may never come.
Don’t look at yesterday and wish you had started living back then.
Look at today and start living in the here and now. Prepare for tomorrow but live today.
Every moment of your life is precious and G*d has a plan for you, but you have to be an active participant if you ever want to start living at all.
Start today to live. You don’t have anything else to do and your only other choices just get you nowhere.
You can use this article in your ezine/newsletter or on your web site as long as the following sig. lines remain included with it. You may not alter it in any way, not even to correct the spelling. This is how I talk & I never place the o in G*d. (Religious reasons.)
Frank Shrum is the webmaster & also owns and operates 999LocalDialup.com. Home of $9.99/mo. high speed dialup internet access as well as 2 other web site which are presently in the building stage located at eBizznessBasics.com where he is building “The Internet Marketers Start Page” & fsadvertise.com. The latter he is building for his daughter’s business where she sells placemat advertising to internet marketers as well as local businesses to be placed on restaurant placemats for a 3 to 5 month span of time and presently enjoys at least a 10,000 circulation each.

The way you view life is vital, it is the key to the method, the way you understand and experience life. There are those who find life to be wonderful, breathtaking, magnificent, amazing, joyful, miraculous, adventurous, and there are those who don’t.
I find it to be quite amazing how some people truly do live life out of the thoughts or feelings of lack. I hear them complain and be negative in most areas of their living, and don’t realize that they are their own worst enemy!
I know a woman who grew up with polio and had eighteen surgeries growing up. She was in a brace or a cast all the way up to her hips, limiting her movement for much of her life. She could not do the things other children and young adults could do! I never knew her as a child with this disease. I’ve only know her as an adult and knowing her now, and I know of her magnificence! She says and believes that her polio was a gift! There are many who may have taken these very circumstances and taken on the opposite view. She could have ended up a very bitter woman, and we as a society would have thought she had the right to be because of her polio.
We have been given the freedom of thought, the freedom of choice, the freedom to believe, the capacity to be thinking, feeling human beings! Wow! What freedoms we have! What a beautiful thing this freedom of thought is and how powerful it is!
What are you doing with your mind? What way are you choosing to live your life? What thoughts, what disposition to you want or do you long for?
This journey of life is exactly that, a journey. Much of this journey is made up of our thoughts. Thoughts about ourselves and about others and thoughts about what others think of us! It can get very heavy or it can be beautiful thoughts of others!
When someone thinks highly of you, you know it! When someone thinks poorly of you, you know it! You feel great around those that think well of you, and you feel awkward and unsure, less confident around those that don’t. It’s amazing what thoughts do and how they can be felt! You can feel them in your body!
In my journey I have always tried to see everyone in a positive light, and be a positive light to those I encounter. It’s my choice to see and experience beauty fully. It is my choice to enjoy each and every human being I encounter, no matter how different they might be. I am able to discover and uncover the beauty within them. This is my choice to do so and I find it to serve me well. I find it to bring much beauty and joy to my life.
There have been times when people have surfaced in my life for one reason or another that I did not want there. There is a particular woman who seemed to be always there, I didn’t like her hardness. Her viewpoint on life was very different from mine. We were complete opposites in our thinking. Yet, both of us were deep thinkers, both of us held deep convictions within our very souls. Both of us took God very seriously and yet very differently! She was brought into my life to strengthen my faith at a time when my faith was faltering. She was the only one who saw that my faith was faltering because she knew exactly what it was to have faltering faith! When my dearest friends didn’t see it, she did! She knew life on a different level than I. She brought life to me on a different level. She expanded my mind, and I became one of compassion for her! It is amazing this life! When I finally made the choice to allow her into my life, I believe God used her to strengthen my faith at a time when I needed it!
Choices are amazing. We have to make so many every day! With every choice there is a consequence. With good choices we experience good or great consequences. With bad choices we experience bad or horrible consequences. We become attuned to these outcomes, or we don’t.
I would encourage you to begin really thinking, examining the choices you make and why you make them. They form these amazing patterns in your life!
I have always taught my daughters this and used the dating scenarios with them. I felt that it was tremendously important for them to view the young men they were allowing into their young lives in total truth. (Think about viewing one in total truth, for that matter think about viewing yourself in total truth). I would remind the girls that certain behaviors, if they allowed them, or merely accepted them, that they were in the process of allowing certain types of behavior become acceptable. Letting them know that patterns were being formed in their young lives. Making them aware if they were living unconsciously (sleep walking through life), or consciously (awakening) in their relationships was HUGE! I never wanted them to be living their lives unconsciously!
So many of us can sleep walk through life allowing unbecoming behaviors to become a part of our lives! This therefore sets the patterns up and sets the stage of your life!
Think about the patterns you have in your life, what are you compromising on? What are you settling for? Why?
Raise your echelon of accepted wisdom! What kind of role model are you being for your children, for your co-workers, your employees? What leadership role are you in? Where to you want to change? What is working for you? What isn’t? How to you want to experience this life!?
The thing I love about life it that we can always choose! We can choose to break free of thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve the right purpose for us! We can allow ourselves to be transformed and awakened! We can recognize this life is a journey with many paths and can choose to stay on the road we are on or we can take the fork in the road that will lead us to places known and unknown making good and right choices along the way!
Here’s to living fully and being fully awakened!
Kathryn
Copyright 2006 Awakenings Life Coaching by Kathryn Bonner
Kathryn Bonner is a Professional, Personal, Executive and Spiritual Life Coach trained through CTI, The Coaches Training Institute. View her website at http://www.AwakeningsLifeCoaching.com Email: AwakeningsLifeCoaching@cox.net Office: 512-260-7775 Toll Free: 866-469-8800
Using this article will allow you one pro bono coaching session over the phone! This aids us both in deciding if we should partner together. If you are ready for growth, desire to become a great leader in the work place, want to be stretched, long for renewal, grace and a fuller life, give coaching a shot and experience the ability to truly accomplish your dreams and goals. I would be honored to aid you in your journey, living the God given dreams you have!

Letย’s get straight into it!

If you want to live a happy life, then you MUST spend some time deciding what you want to do with your life, and then make the effort to live that life with passion.

Itย’s up to you!

No-one else is going to do it for you.

So, take some time out from your busy day-to-day routine, and consider the following questions.

1. What is my lifeย’s purpose?

2. If I had to take a best guess at my lifeย’s purpose, what would it be?

3. Who am I?

4. What is the most important thing in my life?

5. What do I love to do, more than anything else?

6. If I had only six months left to live, what would I like to achieve?

7. What would I like to leave the world, as my legacy?

8. What would I do with my life, if I knew I could not fail?

9. If money, or time, or current responsibilities were not an issue, what would I like to do with my life, more than anything else in the world?

10. What activities have I discovered that give me the most pleasure?

11. What do I still want to learn?

12. When I was a child, what did I dream of doing with my life?

13. What has been the greatest challenge that I have overcome so far in my life? Could I help other people to overcome that same challenge?

14. What challenge would I love to overcome, and then help others achieve the same?

15. Who are the people I most admire?

16. Why do I admire these people?

17. How would I define their lifeย’s purpose?

18. What qualities do these people possess that Iย’d also like to be known for?

19. What is the biggest dream I have ever had for my life?

20. What subjects did I enjoy most in school?

21. What sport have I most enjoyed?

22. What art or craft have I most enjoyed?

23. What social activity have I most enjoyed?

24. What hobbies have I pursued?

25. What hobbies do I wish I had pursued?

26. What would I like to do, if only other people didnย’t think it was silly?

27. Where in the world would I most like to live?

28. Who would I like to live there with?

29. Where in the world would I like to work?

30. Who would I most like to work with?

31. What would my perfect day be like?

32. Is there a spiritual side to me, waiting to be unleashed?

33. What would I like to do, RIGHT NOW, which would bring me the most happiness or pleasure?

34. What special gift do I have that I could give to the world?

35. What makes me cry with joy, or brings tears to my eyes?

36. What would I like to do this weekend, just for fun?

37. If I could be granted the power to change the world, what would I do?

38. If I were given three wishes, what would they be?

39. What is something that scares me a bit, but would be really exciting if I did it?

40. What does my heart say I am to do with my life?

41. What qualities do I possess that I am really proud of?

42. What have I done in my life that I am really proud of?

43. If I had time available to contribute to a charity, or some cause, what would it be?

44. What am I usually doing when I suddenly realise that time has flown by, and all my focus has been on that one task?

45. What do I want to do on my next vacation?

46. Who in history would I most love to be, and why?

47. What do I most regret not doing, so far in my life?

48. At the end of my life, what would I most regret not having done?

49. What is my lifeย’s purpose?

50. If I had to take a best guess at my lifeย’s purpose, and just get started with something that excites me, what would it be?

Ponder these questions for a while. Pick out one that you can really relate to, and ask yourself the question over and over and over, until you have an answer.

The answers are within. If you ask, you will receive your answer.

You can live a life of purpose. You can live a life of passion and success! Ask, until you get your answer. And then take massive action. Itย’s worth it, I promise.

Lance Beggs.

In the hit comedic movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character, Phil Conners, is caught up in a time warp, doomed to live the same day over and over until he gets it right. Hilarious as the ensuing mayhem may be on the big screen, it is a poignant and not too thinly veiled metaphor for how most of us live our own lives – mindlessly occupied with our own issues and concerns, stumbling through life (often over the toes of others) with little if any conscious direction or critical thought. In the end, we keep on running into the same scenarios and problems over and over – not because we’re caught in a time loop, but because we’re caught in a life-loop. We haven’t made the grade, so we can’t graduate beyond our current situation.

One of the solutions to this is to create what I call a “Groundhog Day” Proof Life. Think about it for a second. What if today (or any day lately) was the only day you got to live. Would that be okay with you, or would it be a wailing tragedy? There are 5 steps to creating a GD Proof Life, and I’ve outlined them below.

1. Quit playing “Someday My Prince Will Come” on your internal radio station.

Whether it’s the perfect mate, the perfect job or the perfect life, too many of us spend so much time in the imaginary future that we let our present fall to pieces around our feet. Why bother cleaning, when you don’t really belong where you currently live? How can you possibly have a great night out when your ideal date hasn’t shown up at the door? Who cares if you blow off your job – it’s not like you care, or anything. Stop it! As John Lennon sang, life is what happens when your making other plans. Don’t waste the life you have fantasizing about a life that doesn’t exist.

2. Get your house in order.

Now that you’re back in the present, get your act together and make what you do have work as well as it can for you. Design environments that support and uplift you by ditching anything that doesn’t and only replacing it when you’ve found something you love.

3. Pursue your dreams, not your “purpose.”

Yes, we all have a purpose in life (more than one, probably). But part of the game is that we don’t get to know what that purpose is, and spending all our time trying to find it often ends up taking the place of actually living our lives in a way that would allow us to serve this purpose if we did. We all know people who went off to “find themselves” and never came back – don’t be one of them. The best way to find yourself, and your purpose, is to live a life of passion and authenticity and let them find you.

4. Quality, not quantity.

Why live life at half-mast? You don’t get bonus points for choosing lots of cheap, nasty fast food instead of a moderate amount of gourmet cuisine, and neither does it gain you anything to fill your closet to overflowing with ill-fitting and poorly matched clothes instead of holding out for a modest assortment of exquisite ensembles. Greed and envy are not what I’m advocating, but life’s to short to sit on lumpy furniture and eat bad food.

5. Make it matter -all day, every day.

Live life as if you might actually have to account for it someday. Is it really so important to get that promotion that you’re willing to hurt a friend, bend the rules (even though it makes problems for everyone else down the line), or claim credit for stuff you didn’t do? Would it really take that long to bring a hot meal to a shut-in down the road – even if you do have to miss the opening sequence of your favorite television show? Do you really need one more piece of jewelry that you’ll never wear, when the money could go so much farther at the community center downtown that provides valuable resources to those in need? As they say, what goes around comes around. What do you have coming?

Imagine today happening over and over and over again for the rest of your life (or at least until you got it right). What would you need to clear out, clean up and bring into your life to make that an intriguing prospect, rather than a chilling thought? Don’t wait for tomorrow to get started. In real life, we only get one chance to get it right.
(c) Soni Pitts

In this article I write about how we need to chill out, relax and to live a stress-free life. For many years I did not live life this way and found myself constantly worrying about what other people thought of me. This was not exactly a happy period in my life and after a lot of hard work and determination, I have managed to turn my life around. I now do not care at all what anyone else thinks of me.
I had always wanted to be popular, liked and part of the in crowd. I bent over backwards to achieve this and often did and went to places that I did not want to go to, just to please other people. You should not bow down to peer pressure but I certainly did. I am not really sure why I craved this attention but I seemed to have a need to be liked. I was constantly paranoid that people were talking behind my back and laughing at me.
I lived life like this for quite a long time and was basically being a fool as I was often depressed. I needed to get myself out of a rut and sought inspiration from books, newspapers and television.
I was now twenty-two years of age and had achieved very little in life up to this point. In one of the newspapers I read, there was an article in the letters page which had been sent in by a woman who was in her seventies. It was quite a funny letter and she wrote about how she loved being old. She mentioned that she can now stay in bed all day if she wants to and does not care what people think of her. If she is invited to a social occasion which she does not want to attend, she will say no without feeling any sense of guilt. She wrote that for the first time in her life she does not care at all what people think of her and lives life doing exactly what she wants to do. She ended by saying that she felt free for the first time in her life and that she had never been happier.
I thought about what she had written and realised that I also felt trapped. I did not want to wait until I was in my seventies to be set free, I wanted freedom now. I had to change my attitude to life and I decided to stop trying so hard. I no longer go to places I do not want to go to. If people call me boring I do not care, I reply, boring but happy. I now feel that I am stronger mentally than I ever have been and I am also happier than ever before.
I have looked at myself in the mirror (a bit weird) and have thought about how I live my life. I think I am a decent person, I try to be kind to everyone I meet, I do not cheat and I work very hard to achieve my goals. I actually for the first time in my life, quite like myself, therefore if other people choose not to, that is fine by me.
In conclusion life is to short to waste worrying about what other people think of you. Make the most of life, learn to like yourself and relax, worrying about something does not help anyway, it makes situations even worse.
Good luck in your quest for happiness and freedom.
Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:
stuttering treatment
phobias help
free poker tips

1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”

Most do not get this, and give up way too early. You’re not done until you die-or give up.

This quote is from 1973. Berra was managing, and his New York Mets trailed the Chicago Cubs by 9 1/2 games in the National League East. Berra realized that no matter how hopeless a situation seemed, the season did not end until the last out. The Mets rallied to win the division title on the next-to-last day of the season.

To be down seven runs with one out to go is no more significant than any other point in the game. Your duty is to act-in this case, to ‘play ball devotedly.’ The outcome is whatever it is. However, if you don’t swing the bat with the intention of winning, you doom yourself. So, you set an intention (in this case, to win) and you work toward it with full effort, until the very last.

Most give up a moment or so too soon-typically when the going gets tough.

Often, decisions to ’stop,’ to ‘pull up,’ are made in a similar fog, just a few feet from success. Far better to continue walking, and to make course corrections as we go.

Zen considers only the present moment. What I choose to do in this moment is not pre-determined by anything. Blaming your mommy or your past relationships, your genetics or your lack of understanding is just an excuse for not swinging for the fence, right now.

Remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, but only if you take it. And, of course, each step is a first step.

2. “You can observe a lot just by watching.”

This might seem nonsensical until you see the underlying rhythm:

You can observe a lot by “just watching,” as opposed to judging.

To observe is to detach from interpretation. When you ‘just observe-just watch,’ everything means nothing, and nothing is permanent. On the other hand, if I see something and immediately go into my head, and start making distinctions, all I will do is find evidence for what I already believe.

Shifting to simply observing requires that I uncritically watch the situation as it unfolds before me. As my mind struggles to create a drama to judge, I observe my mind playing games, and then have a breath and let go of that game. In this clarity, I can choose a way to respond that is appropriate to the current moment and situation, without getting tied up in the games and dramas my mind loves.

The centered life (“observing by just watching…”) is about acting in a way that is consistent with your most deeply held understandings. You cannot be peaceful by yelling… you cannot solve complications by creating chaos. The job of life is to become consistent, persistent, and resistant.

Remember: in every area where you think you are stuck, you are stuck because you are holding on to something that does not work. Let go, observe, move on.

3. “Think? How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?”

This is the follow-on to the last point. From a practical perspective, Berra was spot on. When a pitcher throws a baseball at 95 miles per hour, it takes the ball only four-tenths of a second to reach home plate. That gives the batter about two-tenths of a second to decide to swing or not to swing.

Thus, when hitting a baseball, thinking gets in the way of acting.

This is true with learning most things. As we learn something, we move from complex and slow to easy and fast. (Think back, for example, to how hard riding a bicycle was, until it wasn’t.)

I’m not saying that hitting a 95 mile an hour fastball is easy. I am saying that if you are going to learn this skill, you had better give up thinking you can reason your way through it. All you can do is swing a bat, again and again. Once your body ‘gets’ the idea, you can then practice elegant hitting, until it becomes instinctual.

In Zen, we speak of discipline. The key discipline is ‘non-following,’ or non-attachment. You let each non-helpful thought go by not clinging to it. Now, of course,such thoughts will arise until you die.

Following such thoughts leads to paralysis by analysis. This paralysis seems inevitable, until I notice that repeating dysfunctional thought patterns causes the paralysis. I am ‘lost in thought;,’ and the cure is to stop myself-not by more thinking, but by acting. Less thought, more action.

Remember: you cause yourself problems by over-thinking and under-doing. Pick a way to be, and then just be it. Swing for the fences, letting the critical thoughts fade into background noise.

Wayne C. Allen, M.Th is a psychotherapist, and author. His latest book, Half Asleep in the Buddha Hall, is rooted in Zen-based approaches to self-responsibility.

Unexpected life changes. Anticipated transitions. Long, sleepless nights. What do these three things have in common? The ability to provoke one of the most haunting questions in the library of human introspectives:

“What on earth am I going to do with the rest of my life?”

While I can’t pretend to answer to this question for anyone other than myself, I can offer those in this position some basic tips on how to ensure that their future turns out as bright as their class valedictorian said it would be.

Take Time To Create A Map

Too often, when faced with a major (or even not so major) life decision, we tend to either take the first decent choice that presents itself or we allow circumstances to choose for us by default – putting off the decision until the inexorable current of life sweeps us past the turning point. As you can imagine, this is not the best way to get what you want out of life. But the options we are faced with in life can be so wildly divergent, or so deceptively similar, that it is difficult to know which turning to take. Wouldn’t it be great if we had some kind of road map that would help us know which paths to follow and which to pass by?

Below are five questions that everybody should ask himself or herself before starting out on any new path. The answers to these questions should then be used to guide decisions and to direct actions – when a choice comes up, simply compare the various options with your stated desires and choose the option that takes you closer to (or at least moves you the least farthest away from) your destination – your stated goals and desires.

1. What does success mean to me?

Be very specific. “I want to be rich,” is not an answer – just what does “rich” mean, anyway? Are you thinking of a set number? And if so, why? Or is the term “rich” a substitute for certain freedoms and opportunities that you view as coming only with money – and by limiting them to being accessed only through money, are you missing out on other alternative pathways?

Some more specific alternatives to “I want to be rich,” depending on the individual, might be: “I want to have enough net income to meet my current financial responsibilities without strain, plus have time and money left over for travel,” or “I want to be able to comfortably afford a jet-setting lifestyle in New York City,” or “I want to spend 4 days a week at home with my kids,” etc.

You should try to come up with at least three answers to the question of what success really means to you personally, with each one reflecting a different facet of what you feel makes up a truly successful life. And keep the money issue to just one statement – after all, such things as personal fulfillment, spiritual meaning and other essential needs and values cannot be solved, acquired or even influenced by money

One of the biggest obstacles to success is that most of us have never consciously explored what that means to us, aside from some vague and nebulous idea of fame, fortune or other worldly success. Knowing what success really means to you – what you hope or imagine that these generic definitions of success would actually provide and how you want those things to physically look like in your life – allows you to weigh your choices more accurately.

2. What are my non-negotiable needs?

List all the things that you envision as inescapable parameters of a successful and enjoyable life. Family, travel, no debt, pleasant work environment, social status, contributions to society, spiritual involvement, public acclaim, love, excitement, comfort – any or all of these, and any others you can think of are legitimate needs that when not met create an environment of stress, want and disempowerment in your life. Knowing what you are not willing to do without makes the relative values of different options clearer.

3. What are my non-negotiable boundaries?

List all the things that you absolutely do not want present in your life. If the idea of working in a standard hierarchical office environment makes you ill, put that down. If you can’t stand the thought of living in a cold climate, add that to the list. If being poked fun at about your physical condition or other attributes makes life unlivable, note that as well. By knowing what you will not tolerate, many choices become much easier to make. Plus, it allows you to set down rules and policies about who and what you will invite into your life and the standards of behavior you will, and will not, tolerate.

4. What are my key values?

Spend some time searching your soul to come up with a list of your basic values, creating a life around which would make you the person you want to be and allow you to live the life you want to live. Are you the type who values honesty, clean/green living and a deep love of nature above all things? Or are you more of a ‘comforts of home’, family and fun kind of person? Do you value charity over letting others find their way on their own, or is it the other way around? Knowing what you truly stand for is a vital component of good decision-making.

5. What do I want to be remembered for?

What legacy do you want to leave here when you pass on? What do you want people to say about your life and you as a person? What do you want to be known for? What would you like your obituary to say about you? Knowing where you want to end up makes choosing the path to get there, and keeping track of your progress, infinitely easier.

Key Points To Consider

There are three key points to keep in mind when you are faced with making life-changing decisions.

1. Look before you leap.

In life, as in commercial marketing, “Buy now before this opportunity is gone!” is almost always code-speak for, “Buy now, before you have time to read the fine print.” True, from time to time real, honest-to-goodness, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime offers do come around. But if you have laid down a foundation of well-considered choices and clear-minded focus before this happens, you will have the presence of mind and strength of purpose to know when to jump and when to pass, and be much more capable of telling the difference between a missed opportunity and a close call.

2. Life is no longer a “one chance per person” event.

The times, they are definitely a’changing, and one of the best things to come out of that change is that we now understand that people change as well and that not only is this normal, it is to be expected. The career or life that suited you perfectly in your 20’s will most likely not fit the middle-aged you, no more than the same wardrobe or lifestyle would. Sometimes this is merely the result of the normal process of personal evolution we all go through as we age and mature, and sometimes it comes about suddenly in response to reality-shifting events and life-changing transitions such as living through a traumatic event, losing a job or getting married.

However change comes, be prepared to go with the flow. Don’t worry about “all that time I spent in grad school,” or what your friends and family will say. In the first instance, there is no such thing as “sunk costs” in life – 90% of nearly any education or life experience is 100% transferable to new situations and new outlets. In sports they call it “cross-training,” and an athlete doesn’t consider his or her training complete without in. In the second instance, well, if they love you they will want you to be happy and if they don’t love you, then who cares what they think? Besides, they’re not the ones who have to live this life – you are.

Also falling under this heading is the admonition not to trade a good life now for some nebulous “better tomorrow,” such as spending your life zombie-ing through a career you hate for the promise of a pensioned retirement. All too often, these “tomorrows,” if they ever do come, are no better than the “nows” you wasted. And as often as not the stress of living an unhappy life permanently cripples or even kills people, physically or otherwise, well before they can get to their imagined golden “tomorrow.”

3. Trying to find your “one, true purpose” is a waste of life.

We are all put here on this earth for any number of reasons – some big, some small and most of which we will never understand or even realize we’ve participated in until well after they’ve become distant memory. Spending too much time trying to scry your “true purpose” in the tea leaves of life can take your attention and energy away from creating the kind of life that would actually support the accomplishment these purposes in the first place.

A far better is alternative to create what I call a “Groundhog Day-Proof Life.” Based on the Bill Murray movie in which his character has to live the same day over and over, this concept involves creating a life that reflects your values, offers you opportunities to challenge yourself and is fulfilling enough and just plain pleasant enough so that if by some strange cosmic fluke you became trapped in any given day of your life, it would be a good thing rather than a tragedy. Living this sort of life virtually ensures that you will be who and wherer you need to be to fulfill any purpose you may have been sent here to accomplish, while at the same time providing you with a wonderful and rewarding “rest of your life” in the process.

Summary

Getting the most out of life isn’t about living “right”. It’s about living well. Learning to consciously steer your life in the direction you want to take it, making the choice to live by your own set of values and desires and making sure that you get the most out of the limited days you are given to work with ensures that when the time comes for your life to pass before your eyes in review, the show will definitely be worth the price of the admission.

(c) Soni Pitts